1. I've never watched a TV show about a hospital or doctors.
2. I own a copy of New Mutants Annual #2 featuring the first appearance of the X-Men's Psylocke.
3. I downloaded The Best of INXS from the library.
4. I can't get pregnant.
5. Every haircut I give myself is better than the one prior.
6. The two political parties in congress pretending to argue about health care "reform" as if there's a difference in their shitty plans.
7. If I order a smoothie and pay for it, I can drink it.
8. The dream of turning my blood brown from drinking too much coffee.
9. I'm only on Wizard and Glass, but I have a feeling the Gunslinger's Ka-Tet will ultimately right the Dark Tower, and we won't end up with a bunch of crazy shit in Chicago like The Mist, or It, or The Stand. (Actually, I kind of want The Stand to happen.)
10. The Bears may not make the playoffs, but at least they... uh, Jay Cutler has come in and... well, Rod Marinelli really... fuck.
11. The weather-proofing plastic I put up over the windows in my apartment is making a farting sound in one of them when it's windy.
12. Bret Easton Ellis and Chuck Palahniuk both have new books out next spring, and neither of them feature teenage vampires in love.
13. If Obama changes the country as much next year as he did this year, things will look pretty much the same as last year, and Sarah Palin will actually have a chance at winning the next election, or at least Oprah's job.
14. The new MTV reality show "Jersey Shore" will definitely make me feel much better about my own life in comparison, much like "Intervention" does for Ashley.
15. I've seen every episode of “Glee” but still don't know if I like it or not, which tells me I'm still full of surprises.
16. Inflation has not yet hit the 7-11 selection of frozen burritos or Snyder's of Hanover Honey Mustard and Onion Pretzel Pieces.
17. Someday they might make a good movie again.
18. As far as I know, I didn't miss out on any opportunities this year as a result of not being tan enough.
19. Glow sticks.
20. Halter shorts.
21. I don't own any v-neck t-shirts.
22. I never wore a visor backwards or upside-down when guys did that.
23. Miraculously, I still haven't heard "Poker Face" by Lady GaGa, even though I didn't understand part of a "South Park" episode because of it.
24. I stepped in dog piss 3 or 4 times, but not 5 or 6 times.
25. No one has broken in and stolen my mattress or box spring.

What I was thankful for other years: 2005, 2006, 2008