America Must Return to Traditional Values

PM Financial Explorer: The Official PM Business Plan Template, With an Economic Consultant and Random Boldface Type

Hellishly Hot Halloween Costumes!

Quiz: Halloween Candy and your Personality

The Audacity of Hype, or: Get Your Tongue Out of Barack Obama's Asshole, You Fucking Retards

Awkward Opening Lines They Can Use on Next Season's "The Pickup Artist"

Christmas Shopping During the Not-So-Great Depression!

Quiz: How is Your Fucking New Year Going to Be?

Hot Careers For 2009

What's Next for G-Dub?

She's Just Not That Into You

The Extremely Long-Awaited Return of... "Who Needs a Date?"

Bible Study With PM: We Must Follow God's Plan and Give Slavery Another Shot

Maloney's Movie Reviews: Irish Jam

Matt Mercenary Scouts Belgium So You Don't Have To

How to Plan the Wedding of Your Dreams for Under $100

Random Thoughts About People Magazine-- Apr. 6, 2009

My Life as an Artist: Controversy on Craigslist!

There are a Lot of Numerical Bathroom Codes You Dont Even Know About

A Complex Financial Discussion

The Countdown of Overlooked Babes, including:
-Who got cut?
-Who gets to stay?
-Patrick's list
-Ashley's list
-Kevin's list

Movies That Cause Physical Discomfort But You Should Watch Anyway

Five Chicks You Were Too Dumb to Get and Five Chicks You Won't Get. Two parts for the price of one!!!

Who Needs a Date? Emergency Kate Gosselin Edition

Top 10 Deadliest Animals and How You Can Thwart Their Imminent Attacks

Heroes For the Depraved: Henry Lee Lucas

*Year 5 of the online version (PM originally ran analog [stapled sheets of xeroxed paper] in 1996), which actually should have been "celebrated" in Sept. '09, but once again I forgot and am posting this in Jan. '10. Also, we were on sabbatical Aug. and Sept., but no one noticed, present company included.