24/12: WTF Does Ashley Want for Christmas?
1. To get off the gravy train I've been riding.
2. To grow an extra arm so I can punch more people at once.
3. Neosporin.
4. My fucking tonsils to grow back.
5. A new Saxophone... Cause Clarence stole mine while recording "Santa Claus is coming to town" with Bruce Springsteen.
6. The ability to play the Saxophone.
7. World Peace, bitch.
8. A haircut.... since my split-ends are so big and plentiful that they've started ordering pizza and making me pay for it.
9. Scratch number 8... I want my split-ends to get they triflin' ass a job so they can pay for they own pizza.
10. A more stretchy waistband so I can eat more.
11. Gift Certificate to Wendy's.
12.To stop eating every 10 minutes.
13. To start eating every 5 minutes.
14. "Blossom" DVD collection with bonus hats.
15. For LA Gear to re-introduce those shoes I had in first grade with the three different colored laces and twisty decorations on the side.
16. To finally be on "Cops."
17. A sherpa to show me where to go on the el.
18. To watch "Roseanne" and "Grace Under Fire."
19. Newman's Own salad dressing. Ummm, Caeser.
20. You to fucking die.
Kevin wrote: