If you for some reason found yourself watching VH1's "The Pickup Artist 2" the past few months, you know that the master chick magnet, Mystery, teaches the key to opening any set is the perfect entry line. If you are going to approach a group of strange beautiful women at the club, you can't use the old "What's your sign?" anymore, you have to use non-threatening questions or comments while demonstrating higher value, dropping negs, peacocking your avatar, checking for I.O.I.'s, attempting to escalate kino, and of course, working the false time constraint. If any of those terms were unfamiar to you, congratulations, you actually had something meaningful to do at 9pm on Sunday nights (or you were watching football). The openers utilized ad nauseam (to varying degrees of failure) by the contestants on the show included the following: "What movie is this from: Nobody puts baby in the corner!" "What do you think of tattoos on girls?" "My friends and I just pulled off a caper! We're celebrating like it's the end of Ocean's 11," "Is David Bowie sexy?" "Did you see the fight outside?" and "Is Herman a fuckable name?" Now, at first glance, you would think the secret is that your opening line should simply be off-putting and bizarre, but really it doesn't matter. You see, the bars they go to in the show are frequented by skanks looking to get their pussies fucked by pretty much anyone who approaches them, no matter how douchey. Regardless, here are some lines that will reveal you as a deluxe toolbox, but still help you get your foot in the whore.

*Is it true that the Sears Tower is the tallest building in Chicago?
*Hey, have you ever used e-mail?
*Hey, let me get a woman's opinion, aren't some cookbooks just too hard to follow?
*Does it smell weird in here to you? Like, you know, piss?
*Looks like you ladies are out to have a good time... NICE.
*What do you think of shirts on guys?
*If you could get a cassette box set of any of the following old-time radio shows, which would it be: "Fibber McGee and Molly," "The Shadow," or "Life of Riley?"
*Wanna see me swallow seven ice cubes at once?
*Do you think someone with the name Curtis is automatically retarded?
*Me and my friends are trying to remember all the steps in the scientific method, can you help out? I know "state a hypothesis" is in there somewhere.
*I watched Toy Story 2 last week, I swear to God I was bawling my eyes out, what a tear-jerker!
*What would you do if your apartment was roach-infested and your landlord didn't care?
*I know, right?!
*Isn't Britney Spears crazy? Seriously, she's all, "Durrrr..."
*Would you ever do a porno? I mean with a family member. No, not your stepbrother, like your dad.
*If you were on "America's Next Top Model," what would your signature pose be? Huh. If I were you, I'd stick my titties out.
*Can one of you explain to me what my carbon footprint is?
*You know what? I'm switching over to Team Aniston. I've been debating it for a while.
*Be honest with me, are skidmarks a deal-breaker? Also, boxers or briefs?
*I got $600 for my scrap gold!
*Thanks, Buy Owner!
*Saved by Zero, saved by Zero, saved by Zero.
*"Yes we can" what? What can we?
*Would you mind getting me some toilet paper? The men's room is fresh out.
*Hey, I have to get back to my friends in a minute, but do you girls ever get chunks in your period? Like a gelatin substance?
*Hey, is it true that high heels are uncomfortable?
*Your teeth are jacked. I'm gonna call you "grenade mouth."
*How are you? How was your day?
*Definitely get the epidural. You're having twins, right?